Just look at this shit
damn I should make this again. HERE’S HOW TO DO.
Now, slow cookers (often called crockpots) are the lazy chef’s best friend. Own one. You can get a pretty nice one for like $50 and it will serve you well. They are the best because basically all you do is the prepwork, the cutting-up bits and stuff, and then you just throw everything in there and leave it on for like six hours. Makes your house smell nice too.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED
- About 1 lb of stew meat (I got too much meat. This is not necessarily BAD, it’s just…a lot of meat)
- An onion
- Some celery
- Some carrots (baby carrots are great because they mean half as much chopping and peeling and shit)
- Some potatoes (mini potatoes FTW for the same reason as baby carrots)
- Beef broth
- Some spices (I went with parsley, sage and thyme)
- Beer (optional but v. v. good idea)
- And a crockpot.
Blessed art thou among slow cookers.
STEP ONE. Chop up your meat into 1-inch chunks of delicious beefy goodness. Pictured: more meat than you need.
STEP TWO. Chop your veggies. Use as many as you think looks nice. In a perfect world, you should have a little bit more veg than beef, but do whatever you want. Put in a shitton of carrots if you love carrots. Put in like one stalk of celery because fuck celery. It’s your stew.
kill them all
STEP THREE. Dump all that shit into your crockpot.
mmm look at that
STEP FOUR. Add beef broth. Pour in enough so that it doesn’t really cover the food, but it’s definitely present. About like pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. I also added half a bottle of beer on a whim, which turned out to be a very fucking good idea.
STEP FIVE. Take them spices and shake ‘em in. Just a couple good shakes is enough. Do not pour.
STEP SIX. Stir it all a bit, cover your crockpot, and cook on high for 4-6 hours. The longer, the better.
Stop by occasionally to lift the lid and moan with carnal pleasure at the delicious aroma of the fruit of your labors.
STEP SEVEN. Eat that shit.
Stew is nice because it reheats really well. Any leftovers you have you can keep in the fridge and eat for lunch/dinner the next day. Do not be alarmed by any floating white chunks. It is not poison. Bits of fat cook out of the meat and end up in your broth. When you refrigerate it, they solidify. They’ll go away again when you cook it. You could scoop it out to be extra healthy, but it adds flavor, so I usually leave it. NGL, I did freak the hell out the first time I saw it.
Anyways, go make yourself a stew. It’s damn good with bread and the rest of the bottle of beer you poured in. Invite your friends over and share or just eat it all yourself like a selfish cave troll or something.